i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
