do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
