I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the day after is always just damage control
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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