Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
