Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize