I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
