Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
