rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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