It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
