You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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