yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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