You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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