I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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