Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
