I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
