we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
