sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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