Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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