Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
