So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
