im six kinds of drunk right now
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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