A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
