Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
