She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
