Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
