your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
