TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
