she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Of course I have a pirate flag
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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