Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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