Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
