I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Randomize
