We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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