I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
