hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
