If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
