3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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