I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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