Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
