Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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