I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
