2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
