So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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