are you still at the devil's house?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
