Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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