There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
