we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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