I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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