Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
