We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
