i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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