She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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