Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
