They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
