You smell like a Billy Joel song
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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