winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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