Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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