yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
