"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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