so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
